Its amazing the random things you think about. For instance, what is the purpose of the fly on underwear. Why is it called the fly? Was it a bet that an old tailor in the old kingdom lost? Maybe he or she wanted to call it the tarantuala. And who thought of the zipper. Was it a blacksmith accident. "Look what I did! A metal snake to proctect your yoohoo!" Over the years, did it turn into a fashion statement? Or fast forward several more years and the zipper becomes a quick access for #1.
Which brings me to.....does anybody really use the unzip the zipper method when going #1. I can't remember the last time used this method. I can't even recall my two boys ever using the zipper method. I can't even recall my father telling me to unzip, pull through the tara...I mean fly, then the zipper fly (is it called the zipper fly?), aim and let it rip. Is this just built in reflexes passed down like walking for the first time. Are we just going to assume every 2 year old boy going through potty training is going to know the unzip method?
As I remember, the prefered potty training method in our house was first spot the pee pee dance. You know the dance. The hold the man junk and rock side to side quickly. There is also the cross your legs so tightly hoping it goes away stance. The very tricky face twitch, very hard to spot this one. Once spotted, the next step was to scream in panic "RUN TO THE BATHROOM!" Its amazing the little ones didn't pee their pants right there in fright. Your 2 years old, doing the pee pee dance and your parents are screaming at you to run to the bathroom. Like you really want to pee all over yourself so you can put on your 6th different pair of shorts that day. After scaring your child and running to the the bathroom, the last and final step was pull down your pants, shorts, training pants, underwear in all one panic induced motion! What?!?! What happend to the unzip way? The little boy pants do have zippers. I don't know why, but they do. Really, come on, there was no time for the unzip method. Are you kidding me? Do you remember the first step? Come on! Seriously!
Which brings me to the present. Adulthood. Harder for some, including me. I still use the pull down method. Is it the panic induced quick method learned from early childhood? Or is it because I'm too lazy to use the unzip the zipper method? I understand the ease of the unzip the zipper method. Is seems perfect when you have to complicate the whole thing with a belt. Who wants to go through all that trouble of the pull down method with your belt is in the way? Even with a belt, I prefer the pull down method. It takes longer, but most days its not panic induced, waiting until the last minute tricky face twitching pee pee dance. I'm not 2! I think as us boys turn into adults the pull down method is preferred out of fear. Yes I said fear. I'm telling you, one day when you pull your man junk through the tarat.....I mean fly, the zipper fly it might get stuck. It never happens, but one day it might. Then what, I can't use Jim Jr anymore? Fear I tell you. Another scenario, you pull your yoohoo through the tarat.....I mean fly, then zipper fly and forget to pull it back and zip up your yoohoo! Somthing About Mary style! OUCH! I can hear Jennie in the background, "BEANS AND FRANKS HAHAHahahahaHAHOHHOHAHAHA!" No thank you. Jim Jr and I will continue to use the pull down method. The preferred pull down method.
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